


Splish, Splash, I Was Given a Bath

by intellexual_asexual



Series: Ego Short Stories [3]
Category: A Heist With Markiplier (Web Series), Markiplier TV (Web Series), Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series)
Genre: and diva ldhglfdjkff, no beta we die like actor mark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:00:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28755534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intellexual_asexual/pseuds/intellexual_asexual
Summary: Diva (Dark!Chica) smells horrendous and Y/N decides to give them a bath. Little did they know that they were giving someone else a bath, too...
Series: Ego Short Stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106381
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	Splish, Splash, I Was Given a Bath

**Author's Note:**

> whaaaaaat another Diva fic? I can't resist jkdshfkshfjd. I love writing about Diva, maybe I should make a fic dedicated to the pup's point of view of the manor...

Y/N was standing in the kitchen at lunchtime, waiting for their leftovers to finish heating up, when Diva came running in. They almost smacked directly into Y/N, but they were able to dig their paws into the tiled floor before running them over. 

“Hi, puppy!” Y/N greeted the big, grey dog as they reached up to scratch it’s ears. Diva made a noise of contentment, as Y/N got a whiff of something absolutely _revolting_.

They had to fight the urge to throw up right then and there. Y/N checked their food, which was now done, and determined that that wasn’t the cause of the smell. They looked around, making sure no egos were there to tease them, before sniffing their armpits. Nope, it wasn’t them either.

Y/N eyed Diva, who simply cocked their head, before leaning into their smokey fur. They sniffed.

_...oh. My. GOD._

Diva smelled like pure trash. Like, trash that had been soaked in grease and left to rot in the street with the rats.

Y/N was disgusted. They had no idea Diva could smell that bad. They were a form of Dark’s aura, they weren’t supposed to smell like _anything_.

Y/N started thinking. They supposed that the only semi-logical explanation was that Dark smelled bad too. Which wasn’t that far of a stretch: Dark hadn’t been seen out of his office for the past week. Maybe he forgot to shower?

Y/N sighed and rubbed Diva’s neck. “Looks like you’re gonna get a bath, puppy-wubby.”

At the word ‘bath,’ Diva’s ears went flat and they started growling. _Grrrrr, huff!_

“Diva I know you don’t want to, I’m sorry—” But Diva had already taken off down a hallway, running as fast and as far as they could.

Y/N sighed again, putting away their lunch. This was going to take a while.

~ ꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤ ~

It had taken two hours, three separate attempts and Wilford’s eventual help (he didn’t want Diva to ‘suffer’), but somehow Y/N finally got Diva outside for their bath. There wasn’t a tub big enough inside to house the grey beast, so Diva would have to settle with being hosed off. It was warm outside, anyway, they would be fine.

Y/N had Wilford poof in some doggy shampoo (which they suspected came from Fischbach’s own home, since it was open, half empty, and labeled ‘Chica’) and got to work. The amount of shampoo left in the bottle wasn’t nearly enough to rid Diva of their stench entirely, but it did it’s job for the most part. Y/N felt bad about leaving Fischbach an empty container of shampoo, but their nose was more important than Chica right now.

It took a while to properly rinse, dry, and brush Diva, but when Y/N was done an hour later they looked fabulous. Well, as fabulous as they could be for an elephant sized fuzzball.

Y/N sniffed Diva again. Thank God, the trash smell had gone down a lot. Now the trash only smelled like it was overflowing in the kitchen, and not in the street. Dipped in grease. Covered in rats.

Y/N shook their head as they pet Diva, whose fluffy tail was wagging furiously as they were fed a small treat. “See, cutie, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Y/N laughed as Diva snorted again. They both headed back inside, specifically towards Dark’s office. Y/N was going to have a talk with him.

~ ꕤꕤꕤꕤꕤ ~

Dark was not happy in the slightest.

He had been, like every day that week, doing paperwork when the first splash of water came. It got all over his papers, and Dark sighed. It was probably just WIlford trying to mess with him. Or it was his way of telling him to take a damn shower.

The truth was Dark was extremely busy that week, and he simply didn’t have time to clean himself up. He knew he probably smelled like a corpse at this point, and as he started mopping up the water-logged papers he was debating whether or not to use this opportunity to take a break.

By the time the second and third splashes of water came, ruining the rest of his work and getting all over the hardwood floor, he had teleported to his bathroom. 

Dark was already soaked when he finally stepped into the shower. It seemed Wilford was _really_ pushing him to scrub up. 

Before he could actually turn on the shower, though, he smelled… was that _dog_ shampoo? Yup, he was officially going as crazy as Wilford. He reached up to feel his hair, and sure enough it was soaked in shampoo and water.

That was the final straw. Dark stepped out the shower, positively fuming as he put his suit back on. He could shower himself! What age did Wilford think he was, _three?_

A steady stream of water started over Dark’s head just as he was about to open the door. It was like it was coming from a hose…

After a few minutes, there was a gust of strong air that nearly knocked Dark off his feet. It felt like a magnified blow dryer was facing him.

Dark growled as he sensed a knock on his office door. He teleported back and opened it, fully preparing to go off on Wilford.

“Wilford Warfstache did you truly, _seriously_ think that—”

But what greeted him wasn’t the pink-mustached man. It was Y/N, a stern look on their face as Diva transformed back into a smokey shadow and slunk into his office.

He knew he must look like a mess, judging from Y/N’s sudden change of expression. They looked like they were suppressing giggles, taking in Dark’s soggy, bubbly, disheveled form.

He cleared his throat. “Ah, apologies, Y/N. I wasn’t expecting you.”

Y/N cleared their throat too before replying, “Oh, I know. I was going to come in here and force you to take a shower, and maybe into taking a full break, but it… it l-looks like you already h-have.”

And with a burst of laughter they explained to Dark what must have happened.

Let’s just say Dark will be taking more breaks from now on.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to make that sound as un-sexual as possible so please please please don't come for my toes sdkjgkfdf  
> As always, make sure to leave a comment if you like this work, and don't be afraid to request another!


End file.
